Archive for September 6, 2022

“Coming out of nowhere” to get right hooked by clueless driver, Streets For All virtual Happy Hour, and classic bike ads

One quick personal note before we get started. 

You may recall an LA Times story from a couple years ago about how my wife and I took in a foster corgi for a homeless man for a few weeks after our corgi died, so he could get into a shelter and get back on his feet.

Those few weeks turned into nearly six months. But in the process, that little dog helped heal three lives. 

Sadly, the corgi — whose owner asked us to keep his name private — died on Friday, after suffering from cancer and doggie dementia. 

He was 15 years old. 

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SoCal bike writer Peter Flax was the victim of a right hook by a driver who cut in front of him after passing, then claimed he “came out of nowhere;” turning so close Flax actually brushed his shoulder against the moving SUV.

Which serves as yet another reminder that, in the entire history of cars and bikes, no one on a bicycle has ever come out of nowhere. Though it may sometime seems that way to careless and/or distracted drivers.

Click on the tweets below to read the whole thread.

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Streets For All will host their latest virtual Happy Hour a week from tomorrow, featuring my state assembly member.

Although probably not just because he’s my assembly member.

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Your periodic reminder that bike advertising was so much better back in the day.

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The war on cars may be a myth, but the war on bikes just keeps on going.

No bias here. A writer for Vice responds to last week’s anti-ebike screed in The Atlantic by saying the lack of appropriate infrastructure for ebikes is making bicycling worse, and that we have an ebike problem that more ebikes won’t solve.

A DC bike rider was hit in the face with a metal water bottle thrown by a road raging driver, who then reversed into him and tried to run him over; fortunately, he escaped with a few bruises.

Former Canadian pro cyclist Marcel Zierfuss was the victim of a road raging driver in Toronto’s contentious High Park; the man started by driving erratically and swearing about entitled cyclists, before swerving towards Zierfuss and finally brake-checking him, leaving Zierfuss with a serious concussion, nose injury and whiplash. Thanks to Megan Lynch for the heads-up. 

An English city painted over a previously existing bike lane because drivers couldn’t manage to avoid a new pedestrian island without swerving into it.

But sometimes, it’s the people on two wheels behaving badly.

Houston police are looking for a man who fled by bicycle after fatally shooting another man following an altercation outside a convenience store.

A bike-riding thief punched a student walking on an Illinois university campus before making off with the victim’s cellphone.

A 20-year old British man fled from police on his bike after showing up late for a court hearing, then hurling abuse at social workers.

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Local

Long Beach bike riders enjoyed a tour of new murals painted over the weekend as part of The Long Beach Walls and Art Renzei Festival.

 

State 

No news is good news, right?

 

National

Tour de Fat is back in my Colorado hometown after a two-year pandemic layoff.

A Colorado man got 16 years behind bars for his part in an organized bike theft ring that used stolen cars to break into 29 Boulder area bike shops, then shipping the stolen bikes to a Mexican bike shop for resale.

The Chicago Tribune offers photos from Sunday’s Bike the Drive open streets event on the city’s iconic Lake Shore Drive; a growing number of those riders were using ebikes.

Five kids from the Cleveland Boys & Girls Club hopped on new loaner bikes to help a videographer with the local paper finish the last three-tenths of a mile of his century ride — then are shocked when they get to keep the bikes, along with other gear.

They’re one of us. Or maybe four of us, as Kate Hudson and her fiancé Danny Fujikawa, and Sophie Turner and husband Joe Jonas go for separate bike rides in New York.

This is why people keep dying on our streets. After a Pennsylvania driver drifted onto the shoulder of a roadway, critically injuring a 61-year old bike rider, police gave him a pat on the wrist by writing a pair of traffic tickets. As someone noted on Twitter, that could cost the driver tens of dollars.

Hundreds of DC area bike riders turned out to honor a fallen bicyclist at her ghost bike ceremony; the veteran diplomat was killed by a driver while riding in Bethesda, Maryland last month.

 

International

A new book details the world’s largest collection of bicycle derailleurs.

Smart bike helmet maker Lumos has introduced a set of magnetic bike lights that can display red, white and yellow lights, which combine with an app to work as turn signals and brake lights; there’s still a few left at two for $65.

Wired likes Skarper’s new ebike conversion prototype, but questions why someone wouldn’t just buy an entire ebike for the $1,190 price tag. Although we’re getting closer to the Holy Grail of conversion kits, where they’re small enough to toss in a backpack and just clip on as needed.

Hats off to a four-year old Welsh girl, who has raised the equivalent of over $1,100 by riding her bicycle 93 miles over the past six weeks.

Once again, authorities managed to keep an elderly driver on the road until it’s too late, after a 70-year old English man was killed when he was run down on his bike by an 82-year old driver with failing eyesight, who couldn’t manage to read a license plate from ten yards away.

After a Bristol, England woman’s bikes were stolen, she spotted one of them when she went to the police station to file a report — and was mugged by the thief when she tried to reclaim it, even though they were right outside the doors of the cop shop.

Then there’s the Lancaster, England thief who denied stealing a bicycle when he was questioned by the police , but they saw him riding the purloined two wheeler the next day. Oops.

A UK woman says she made her two kids stop riding their bikes after it got too dangerous when officials started removing the pandemic popup bike infrastructure; a British bike advocacy group blames the removal of those bikeways for a drop in bicycling rates.

Good news, as Welsh decathlete Ben Gregory is breathing on his own and slowly coming out of a coma after suffering a fractured neck and skull, and multiple brain hemorrhages when he was struck by a driver in a near-fatal collision while riding his bicycle last month.

No bias here. Stuff says the data is inconclusive on whether Christchurch’s protected bike lanes are improving safety, with four of 13 planned major bikeways in operation — except the data is only inconclusive because it’s based on the entire city, with no specific safety information for the new bike lanes themselves. The website also asks why Christchurch lost its position as New Zealand’s bicycling city, where bikes outnumbered cars on the streets as late as the 1950s.

A drunk driver in Hunan, China could face a charge of intentional murder or injury for the hit-and-run crash where she ran down an ebike rider, then dragged the victim for more than one thousand yards after her clothes got caught on the car’s bumper. We could use a law like that here.

 

Competitive Cycling

Veteran Belgian cyclist Sep Vanmarcke won Baltimore’s inaugural Maryland Bicycle Classic, out-sprinting four other riders who survived a lengthy breakaway; more than 50,000 spectators turned out for a brief glimpse of the riders zooming by, with downhill speeds of up to 45 mph.

Things are getting more interesting in the Vuelta, where Remco Evenepoel is holding on to the red leader’s jersey by one minute 34 seconds over second place Primož Roglič, after the three-time winner shaved over a minute off Evenepoel’s lead in Sunday’s 15th stage.

Now you, too, can own your very own replica of Tadej Pogačar’s Tour de France-winning yellow Colnago V3Rs signed by the cyclist; the current bid is the equivalent of just over $550,000 — yes, over half a million bucks — with the proceeds going to a nonprofit that provides access to education for vulnerable children. Did I mention it’s a replica?

This is what a photo finish looked like in Monday’s Tour of Britain.

https://twitter.com/TourofBritain/status/1566796521865101318?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1566796521865101318%7Ctwgr%5E0a8968b61c05a60715b4656fc6a7d2e8221ac8ea%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Froad.cc%2Fcontent%2Fnews%2Fcycling-live-blog-5-september-2022-295707

 

Finally…

Oddly, advice on how to treat common bike injuries doesn’t involve wrenches, spokes of bike lube. Seriously, who doesn’t need a 153-pound ebike with a sidecar?

And that feeling when a man decides to take up bicycling after a judge bans him from driving for the next year for driving while high.

Even though he couldn’t legally drive in the first place.

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Be safe, and stay healthy. And get vaccinated, already.

Oh, and fuck Putin, too.

8-year old boy taken off life support following Coto de Caza collision; 14th fatal OC bike crash this year

Ghost bikes come in children’s sizes, too.

We mentioned Friday that an eight-year old boy was seriously injured when he was struck by a pickup driver in Coto de Caza Thursday morning.

Now we’ve learned that the boy was taken off life support Saturday afternoon.

Eight-year old Bradley Rofer was walking his bicycle through a crosswalk on his way to school, with members of his family watching, when he was run down at 7:25 am.

He was rushed to Mission Hospital, where he underwent surgery.

Bradley was crossing Coto de Caza Drive at Oso Parkway when he was struck by the driver of an older Ford 150 pickup turning left from Oso onto Coto de Caza; it was his first day riding his bike to school.

This is how The Orange County Register described it.

It was supposed to be a fun day —  Bradley was going to ride his bike to school for the first time. He’d learned proper bike safety rules and would be wearing a helmet. His family would be watching and cheering him on. He was ready.

Eight-year-old Bradley Rofer was used to impressing people in his Coto de Caza neighborhood. Riding his bike solo, starting a business that raised money for children with cancer, reading a 300-page plus Harry Potter book at age 7 — those were normal things for the Wagon Wheel Elementary School student.

According to his mother, Bradley was doing everything right when he was hit, including wearing his bike helmet, which firefighters initially credited with preventing more serious injuries.

The driver, identified only as a 53-year old Tustin man, remained at the scene and cooperated with investigators. There’s no word on why he couldn’t see a boy walking his bike in a clearly marked crosswalk.

There was no crossing guard at the site when Bradley was struck, 20 minutes before children were expected at the school.

His mother broke the news on Facebook.

A crowdfunding campaign to assist with funeral costs and other expenses has raised over $23,000 of the $40,000 goal.

This is at least the 63rd bicycling fatality in Southern California this year, and the 14th that I’m aware of in Orange County.

My deepest sympathy and prayers for Bradley Rofer and all his family and loved ones.

Thanks to William Sellin for the heads-up. 

California tax credit for carless low-income residents, more on Venice Blvd protected bike lanes, and new Fullerton bike park

California wants to pay you not to own a car.

Maybe. And sort of.

SB 457 started out as a proposal to refund $2,500 to adult taxpayers who owned fewer cars than they had eligible drivers, rising to $5,000 for a carless couple.

But it was significantly pared back during negotiations in the state legislature, with the final bill giving just a $1,000 tax credit for single-filers earning up to $40,000, and joint-filers making up to $60,000, who live without personal cars.

By tying it to income, and requiring the entire household to be carfree, the legislature significantly weakened the bill, while dramatically reducing the number of eligible households.

Which was probably the point.

In effect, they changed it from a bill to encourage car owners to go carfree, to subsidizing transit use for people who already are; the $1,000 tax credit would nearly cover a full year of unlimited LA Metro passes.

And in this case, the restrictions hit close to home.

While my wife and I would qualify under the income restrictions, her car would keep us from receiving anything, even though I no longer drive.

Under the original bill, I would have qualified by not owning a car, while she wouldn’t have, netting us $2,500 that we won’t be seeing now.

Still, it’s a step in the right direction.

And maybe one day the state will actually incentivize going carfree, and encourage people to take their cars and trucks off our crowded streets, and adopting more healthful forms of transportation.

Both for the person using it, and our society as a whole.

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Streetsblog offers more details on planned improvements to Venice Blvd on LA’s Westside.

The project will create a continuous 5.1 mile protected bike lane extending east and west from the existing protected bike lanes in Mar Vista, along with a new 2.5 mile bus lane.

Work is projected to begin this November, after public comments and final design work.

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Orange County has received a $1.175 million grant to develop a new bike park at Craig Regional Park in Fullerton.

https://twitter.com/mikeocbike/status/1565443476342288384

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The war on cars may be a myth, but the war on bikes just keeps on going.

You’ve got to be kidding. Family members may never know what really happed to a fallen bicyclist, after Denver police detectives didn’t bother to investigate or visit the crash site for five weeks after he was killed. Someone should be fired for that one. Although police unions are very good at keeping bad cops on the payroll these days.

But sometimes, it’s the people on two wheels behaving badly.

The Hollywood Reporter questions whether a former writer/producer for Scrubs and Californication is Hollywood’s most prolific sexual predator, at times using his bicycle to stalk young women; Eric Weinberg is free on $3.25 million bail as he awaits trial on 20 charges of sexual assault, including rape. Seriously, there’s not a pit deep enough.

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Local

Bicycling catches up with Koreatown bike mechanic Jimmy Lizama, one of the founders of LA’s modern bicycling community. As usual, read it on Yahoo if the magazine blocks you.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies are conducting a bike and pedestrian safety operation from 8 am to 10 pm today, cracking down on anyone who commits a violation that could endanger people on foot or two wheels, regardless of who commits it. The usual protocol applies — ride to the letter of the law until you leave the city, so you’re not the one who gets caught.

The East Side Riders continue their exemplary social service this Saturday, providing a free bike repair, helmet distribution and safety class.

 

State 

An eight-year old boy was hospitalized with serious injuries when he was run down by the driver of a pickup as he was riding his bike in Coto de Caza.

San Onofre surfer, artist and board shaper Tyler Warren is starting a petition to ban ebikes from California state parks, somehow assuming that their riders are responsible for littering, while complaining about the “recreational integrity of surfing” being “hopeless degraded” by ebike-riding “kooks and their endless gear fetishes.” Maybe he needs to wear a helmet when he surfs.

 

National

Adventure Cycling is rolling out a dozen two to five day bike routes, each starting in metro areas and with GPS as your guide, for anyone who doesn’t have the time or inclination to tackle a major cross-country ride.

A writer for Slate says carmakers are rolling out electric pickups and SUVs that are just as deadly as their gas-powered counterparts, but there’s still time to change course — presumably before we all get killed.

Tourism site Lonely Planet recommends Seattle’s ten best bike trails, for your next trip to the Emerald City.

Washington state will now have to incorporate Complete Streets principles, and consider the needs of all road users — including pedestrians, bike riders and public transportation users — in any state roadway projects. Let’s hope that works better for them than a similar requirement here in California has so far. 

A Denver magazine offers a tongue-in-cheek beginner’s guide to joining the local bike community, for all the new ebike buyers taking advantage of the city’s rebate program.

A Denver man tracked his AirTag to locate his stolen ebike, and got it back when he interrupted an apparent negotiation over its sale.

A Wyoming woman celebrates road cycling, “where all the senses come into play.”

Bighearted staffers at a Missouri high school dug into their own pockets to buy a new bicycle for a sophomore boy who only made it three days into the school year before his bike was stolen.

That’s more like it. A Cincinnati TV station tells drivers to keep out of bike lanes, and always yield to people on bicycles because of the danger their vehicles pose to more vulnerable road users. I’ll even give them a pass on not bothering to invest the ten seconds it took to find out if their state has a three-foot passing law. Hint: it does.

New York is considering a ban on ebikes and scooters in city public housing projects, in response to a rash of fires from poorly made ebike batteries; Streetsblog says the city could establish a battery swap program to keep residents from charging batteries at home overnight.

You’ve got to be kidding. A New Jersey man had his 19-year conviction overturned for stealing a bicycle from a special needs man and vandalizing it, then swinging a hammer at the victim, because he was apparently too drunk to understand his Miranda rights.

 

International

Cycling Weekly recommends five simple upgrades to get that new bike feeling from a cheap secondhand bike.

We may have entered the post-bike boom period, as English bike ridership has dropped to its lowest level since the country started tracking it seven years ago, with just 2% making all their trips by bike; meanwhile, readers of The Guardian share how safety concerns have driven them off their bikes.

 

Competitive Cycling

Spanish pro Enric Mas says Remco Evenepoel shows no sign of cracking, despite crashing on Thursday’s 12th stage of the Vuelta.

Evenepoel continues to hold a lead of 2 minutes and 41 seconds over 2nd place Primož Roglič, with Mas in 3rd, after Thursday’s 12th stage.

Baltimore is hosting the one-day Maryland Cycling Classic this Sunday, complete with several WorldTour riders and teams.

 

Finally…

That feeling when a mountain bike crash provides creative inspiration for your new commercial project. Or when a one-block bike lane is enough to force a local recall election.

And that feeling when neighborhood NIMBYs somehow feel the need to call for the removal of a temporary bike lane.

Did I mention that it’s just temporary?

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Be safe, and stay healthy. And get vaccinated, already.

Oh, and fuck Putin, too.

Embarrassed to be seen on an ebike, support for Venice Blvd bike lanes, and Sierra Club backs faux-environmentalist

A quick update before we get started. 

My brother has made it to Kansas a week into his latest cross-country bike ride.

So far, things are running smoothly, despite temperatures in the high 90s. 

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No bias here.

A writer for The Atlantic, who clearly doesn’t get it, says ebikes are monstrosities that need to develop an identity of their own, distinct from bicycles and motorbikes.

Never mind that ebikes open up this wild and wonderful world of bicycling we so love to countless people who couldn’t ride a bike before, or would love to ride one again.

Not to mention countless more who use them as a simple and efficient way to get to work or school. Or do their shopping without having to break out the family SUV.

Or own one, even.

But writer Ian Bogost doesn’t see it that way.

But I’ve been trying to live with one, and brother, I’ve got some bad news. These things are freaks. Portraying e-bikes as a simple, obvious, and inevitable evolution of transportation (or even of bicycling) doesn’t fully explain these strange contraptions. The Venicsame was said of Segways, and then of Bird scooters, and both flamed out spectacularly…

Perhaps my e-bike ambivalence comes in part from the bike’s strange social status. An e-bike isn’t cheap—the least expensive ones are about $1,000, and they go up to $5,000 or more. But the symbolic value one receives in exchange is minimal. Spending five large on a conventional bike would get you a status symbol—you’d come off as a cyclist for sure. For that matter, spending that dough on a Vespa would infuse you with an Aperol-tinged Italianate cool. You’d want to be seen arriving on your moped. But I don’t want anybody seeing me on my e-bike. It’s just kind of embarrassing.

Seriously.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but who honestly gives a rat’s rear about the social cachet of your bicycle, unless you are in fact dropping way too much on a high-end roadie designed to make you faster than your little legs and limited skills would otherwise allow?

You know, kind of like an ebike.

But wait, as they say in informercials, there’s more!

Currently, e-bikes are trapped in the weird smear between pathetic, loser bicycles and pitiable, low-end motorbikes. Especially in America, where bike infrastructure is far less developed than in the small, flat nations of Northern Europe that cycling advocates like to exalt as a model, e-bikes have become kind of a nuisance. Walking the streets of New York City, it now feels just as likely that you might get mowed down by an e-bike as a taxicab. Elsewhere, the narrow protected lanes and greenway trails built for human-powered bikes—already littered with stroller-pushers and joggers—don’t quite scale to the new swiftness of e-bikes. The pathways and roads themselves, perhaps already unsafe at bike speed due to uneven pavement and poor maintenance, feel even more dangerous on a not-quite-motorcycle.

So, no one wants ebikes and there’s no market for them, yet they’re as ubiquitous as taxicabs on New York sidewalks.

Sure, that makes sense.

Never mind that ebikes already outsell electric cars and plug-in hybrids combined in the US.

That would seem to refute the argument that there’s no clear market for them. Let alone that anyone other than him is embarrassed to ride one.

Maybe someone could just tell Mr. Bogost that 2012 called, and wants its hot take back.

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t feel so embarrassed if he was riding Mercedes new $5,800 Formula E-inspired ebike.

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The proposal to expand the protected bike lanes and bus lanes on Venice Blvd seemed to enjoy overwhelming support at yesterday’s virtual meeting, as well as on community surveys.

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Leave it to our local Sierra Club to get it wrong.

As someone who grew up in Colorado, I’d long seen the Sierra Club as a protector of the native environment.

But it didn’t take long after moving to Los Angeles to realize that the LA/Orange County chapter was mired in form of environmental conservatism unbecoming of local politics. And unwilling to upset the automotive hegemony and single-family home applecart to actually advocate for the change we need to save our city.

Let alone the planet.

Which leads to their endorsement of everyone’s favorite faux-environmentalist and termed-out councilmember, who apparently never met a bike lane he liked, or a NIMBY he didn’t.

My old friend Dr. Michael Cahn seems to sum up the sad situation pretty well.

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Hats off to the East Side Riders for working to bring an ebike lending library to the South LA area.

Even if a certain writer for The Atlantic would be embarrassed to be seen on one.

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Beautiful cover art by the late, great French illustrator Jean-Jacques Sempé.

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More proof you can move anything by bike. Even if it looks like the dog is doing the steering.

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The war on cars may be a myth, but the war on bikes just keeps on going.

Yet another cord has been strung over a Madison, Wisconsin bike path where it could clothesline an unsuspecting rider; one victim has already been seriously injured crashing into one.

But sometimes, it’s the people on two wheels behaving badly.

A Welsh cabbie has been sentenced to two years behind bars for deliberately running over a road raging bike rider who slapped the hood of his car and called him a fat fuck in a dispute over the man’s driving.

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Local

What took so long? Ever since a speeding driver blew through a red light and killed five people in Windsor Hills, along with a pregnant woman’s unborn baby, I’ve wondered when they would get around to claiming she wasn’t conscious leading up to the crash.

Streetsblog’s Joe Linton expounds on yesterday’s comment about the Ventura Blvd bike lane plans, questioning why the city is touting it as a bike safety proposal instead of the parking plan it really is.

 

State 

For the second year in a row, Governor Gavin Newsom killed a bill that would have allowed bike riders to treat stop signs as yields; this time he only had to announce plans to veto the bill to get it pulled by its sponsor. Never mind that it’s safely in use in an ever-growing number of cities and states. Maybe we’ll have to call getting ticketed for rolling a stop “getting Gavined.”

Calbike is looking for a full-time executive director, as well as a part-time individual giving manager. Let me know when that last position gets filled; I know a few individuals I’d be happy to give them.

Carlsbad literally put its money where its figurative mouth is, voting to allocate $2 million to confront a bike safety emergency, after bicycle and ebike injuries doubled over the previous year, and two ebike riders were killed there just one week apart; the funding includes half a million dollars to hire four additional traffic enforcement cops. Thanks to Oceanside bike lawyer and BikinginLA sponsor Richard Duquette for the heads-up; the way things our going in San Diego and Orange counties lately, they need a good bike lawyer down there. Or maybe an army of them.

 

National

Cycling Weekly offers a guide to smooth and efficient shifting, and announces their picks for the best bike bells. Wake me when somebody makes a bike bell that sounds like an old submarine klaxon.

ZDNet suggests where to hide an AirTag on your bike so thieves won’t find it. Apparently assuming that bike thieves don’t know how to Google.

A VeloNews podcast talks with mountain bike icon Gary Fisher, who has remained a force in the bike industry through two cultural revolutions.

An Orem, Utah elementary school is raising funds to teach kindergarten kids how to ride bikes, through the All Kids Bike program.

While LA bike riders struggle to get to SoFi Stadium, Houston is building a bike path to get riders safely to and from the NFL’s NRG Stadium; the city hopes to conclude work in time for the annual rodeo and livestock show in March.

A Minnesota bike rider explores John Prine’s “jungles of East St. Paul.” And makes it look pretty damn good in the process.

This is the cost of traffic violence. A Michigan woman was killed by a hit-and-run driver, just moments after she ran out of her house to aid a bike rider who had just been killed by another motorist.

New York is considering an ebike rebate program that could slash prices 50%, up to a retail cost of $2,200.

The husband of an American diplomat killed riding her bike in Maryland has been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support; a crowdfunding campaign has raised nearly $180,000 in just two days to advocate for safer bikeways, more than tripling the original goal.

 

International

The Guardian considers how our language has been colonized by cars, while wondering whether we really want to see the world from a windshield perspective.

Seriously? The Sun questions who was in the right, after a driver plows into a rider practicing stunts on his BMX bike in the middle of a dark street. Is all of the above an option?

No need to cork intersections anymore, with a new device that will let you control the traffic signal for up to 45 seconds at a time.

Road.cc wants to know who drained the color out of road bike tires, and why.

No irony here. A mayoral candidate in Winnipeg, Manitoba had his own bicycle stolen, just 85 minutes after announcing a plan to eliminate bike theft.

There’s a special place in hell for whoever stole a British paramedic’s bike while he was busy saving lives; the victim was riding his bike to save money after the birth of his daughter.

Bike Radar offers ten “weird and wonderful mountain bike throwbacks” from this year’s Malverns Classic in the UK.

 

Competitive Cycling

Aussie Kaden Groves won his first Grand Tour stage in Wednesday’s 11th stage of the Vuelta, while Remco Evenepoel maintained his grip the red leader’s jersey.

Cycling Weekly examines Irish pro Sam Bennett’s return to his winning ways in the opening weekend of the Vuelta.

Over 1,800 riders are expected to turn out for the tenth anniversary of The Rebecca’s Private Idaho gravel race, founded by former cycling great and Idaho native Rebecca Rusch.

 

Finally…

We may have to deal with distracted LA drivers, but at least we don’t have to ride highways smothered in Alfredo sauce. That feeling when Google Maps directs you to bike lanes that don’t exist.

And with hair like that, who needs a helmet?

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Be safe, and stay healthy. And get vaccinated, already.

Oh, and fuck Putin, too.